Evil Artichokes

The Prophet Jeremiah says,

"The heart is deceitful above all things
and beyond cure. Who can understand it?"

This is clearly a verse about artichokes.

We must be careful not to read this with our American concept of the heart. Most of us will not be silly enough to conclude after reading this passage that our primary cardiovascular organ is flawed and academically beyond the study of even the finest cardiologists. Instead, we immediately interpret this as referring to our emotions. We would therefore interpret the passage to mean that we should be careful not to be driven by our feelings, because they can lead us astray. While this advice is true, it is not the proper interpretation. As I said before, this is a verse about artichokes.

Jeremiah was a Hebrew, and as such, when he said "heart," he was referring to the seat, not only of emotions, but also of intellect and will. When the Old Testament writers refer to the heart, they do not mean the center of your cardiovascular system or even the center of your feelings. They mean the center of your self.

So when you read a Hebrew's warning about your heart, don't think anatomically or even emotionally. Think culinary. Artichoke hearts are the core of the vegetable: every bit of what's on the outside originated on the inside. If the heart is bad; it's all bad. This means we are wicked beyond hope of a cure and are therefore in desperate need of divine and miraculous regeneration. This also means that when the Bible says David was after God's heart, he was chasing the very core of Who God is.

The verse makes so much more sense when you realize it's talking about artichokes.