An Open Letter to Santa Claus

Dear Santa,

I'm not going to try and convince you I've been nice this year or justify my attitudes and behaviors. I've actually been rather naughty. I've done things that should have remained undone. I've left undone things that should have been done. I've said things that should have remained unsaid. I have forgotten who I am and what I ought to do. I have reveled in evil and caused suffering to my friends and family. In fact, if I'm perfectly honest, I've never deserved a spot on the nice list. I owe you some presents back, I guess.

So this is just a letter to say I'm removing myself as a candidate for future presents. Don't worry about me though. I talked to Jesus and He said even though I suck at life, I can have all His stuff anyway if I let His Dad adopt me. You're too busy to help me be the person you're asking me to be anyhow. Jesus is a bit more hands-on with my sanctification, and He's going to make me just like Him. Don't be too hard on yourself though. You're just a fictional, finite creature and He's almighty God. Who could compete?

Glad tidings and great joy,

Joshua Smith